My Child is a Bully - Now What?

No parent sets out to raise or create a bully. The parents that find out this harsh reality often don’t know how to deal with this difficult personality trait in their child. Whether you learn it as a result of your own observations or it is brought to your attention by a fellow parent or teacher, you need to put a stop to it. This is likely not an isolated incident, so be prepared to stop it before it happens again.

Check the Facts and Respond
First and foremost, get to the root cause. Has your child been bullied and therefore turned this behavior around? Is it from something at home or in their lives that has brought out this behavior? There are a fair share of childhood bullies that act that way as a result of their environment. It’s passed down to them from an older sibling; they are spoiled and therefore act out when in a setting with other children, or feel that they are entitled. If your child is a bully as a result of his/her environment or for any other reason, then it’s time for you to admit it and fix it.

Consequences for Their Behavior
Get a grip on the situation and confront your child with a serious dose of reality-bullying is unacceptable and there are consequences. You need to be honest and up front with your child that their behavior is destructive.  Bullying causes pain to others and you and your child need to understand why they want to hurt others. If they bully the kids at school, this will result in being grounded, having privileges taken away or no extracurricular activities. Show them examples of what can happen if the bullying continues, and bullying with physical threats or harm can have potential legal consequences.

Be Diligent and Be Consistent
One overlooked area to explain is the emotional damage they inflict on themselves because bullies often become isolated. Once you uncover what’s eating at them, address it. Be understanding in what’s causing their behavior but also consistent in your expectations that no level of bullying will be accepted--not to their friends, not to their siblings, not to schoolmates, not to anyone!

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a guest , June 09, 2010

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