Black Single Mothers Raising Sons

It’s Time
My book focuses on the female perspective of motherhood and raising a son. For too long I have witnessed so many write and speak - from a male perspective. We must understand and embrace the history of the black woman - We have been the foundation of the family since Africa - why is it then so wrong for black women to be the foundation of the black family today? If black women could not raise their sons - God would not have given the black woman a male fetus.

I am about empowerment – for so long I have read, paid to listen to those who uplift the black woman but in the same breath speak: “Yes, she did an excellent job raising me – but…” For too long the dialogue is focused upon the deficit model – it time to focus on the positive – the empowerment. Those who have written and spoken from their own life experience – being the black son of a single black mother has only thought to view and comment from the deficit model, resulting in: “Should Do’s.”

Every time a black mother hears that she cannot raise her black son – there are four more black sons that fall through the cracks of the system; another black mother gives up on her black son; takes her hands off of him and leaves him to society, school and prison to be ‘raised.’

Over 400 years of slavery had the black woman as a breeder, to build the United States of America from her womb. Her validation came from how many babies she birthed. She had no time to raise her babies, to nurture them as her babies were often ripped from her arms and sold as property. As the famer does with his sheep, chicken and cows. No relationship was formed – no nurturing – no healing.

The strength of the black woman has been long under estimated – to bleed bright red blood every month strengthens the psyche. To endure childbirth strengthens the psyche and to maintain hope and adaptability in the most oppressed environment called black female life strengthens the psyche. To live a dual life of strength as well as femininity strengthens the psyche.

Historically, the black man was and is seen as the stud, the player – the black woman is seen as something so low, she is invisible, experimented upon throughout history and her strong body is to be jeered at and viewed as illicit and to be exploited– not the temple that has sustained humanity for so long.

For the black woman it has always been: “How bad to you want IT?” from society as well as from our own black men. The black woman has to be ten times more in every aspect in order to be recognized – this exponential recognition also had the black woman surpass her own black man; an unforeseen outcome that has further separated the black woman from her black man as the black man does not understand: Hate the game not the player. The black woman has played longer and harder than any quarterback or Michael Jordan – yet she is still invisible. The black woman has to maintain her visibility.

The Secret – not the one seen on Oprah – The Bold Lioness’ Secret is: Black women know the path, the journey the life of the black man as she has had to live the life of the black man as well as her own life. For every successful black man there is a black mother who walked along side her black son on his journey called life; from infancy through manhood; from the nipple to the first condom – the successful black mother is there and she understands what it is to be a black man. As Eve was formed from the rib of Adam the feminine mystique is the duality of both male and female. As the fetus grows, the clitoris can become a penis. Look at the black woman – she is not invisible, you the black man will see yourself, if you possess the courage!
www.boldlioness.com
Raising Princes to be kings is also on facebook!